This One Time In Middle School
by 0.Fiction.0
Summary: A little something I came up with not sure if I should make another chapter though.


When I was younger I thought homosexuality was crazy. I couldn't understand how a guy could like another guy. I always thought girls were the greatest and most beautiful thing ever.

However one day in middle school I saw this Buizel. This Buizel was strange, he looked male, but had this feminine walk or something. I thought it was ridiculous how a guy could look so girly. I almost immeaditly forgot about the Buizel afterwards and started looking at some other girls.

I had recently evolved from a chubby little Cyndaquil into a tall, lean Quilava. I have to admit I actually felt handsome and that I could have any girl I wanted. Even though a few weeks ago I had no self-esteem and a nervous wreck. Some time later I saw the Pokémon again, this time I watched the Buizel from behind. I was alured by the sea weasel's body and how the way it walked. I immeaditly thought the Buizel was girl and had mistaken her for a guy. I had no classes with her so I asked some friends about her.

They laughed and told he was a guy. I was so embarrassed with myself for not being able figure out his gender. I again lost interest in him and ignored him for a while.

Sadly, things didn't work out for me. Aparently girls didn't find me as attractive as I thought. After revealing my feelings to one girl she completely laughed at me and asked me if I was serious. She had crushed my hopes of finding a girlfriend and in the end I became a loser with no friends. I sat alone at lunch and just read. It makes me sad just thinking back to my old self and I also remember the kids a grade higher that would mock me by asking me why I sat alone and if I cut myself. I ignored them and eventually they would go away. Luckily there was no real harm just burning hatred for those kids who were happier than me.

Then I saw him again. The Buizel was sitting at a table outside the cafeteria at lunch! I grew excited, not sure why, but I felt attracted to him somehow. Perhaps I subcoscienously connecting him to the days when I was happier. He sat with a group of Pokémon that I didn't know. Wait, there was one person I knew, maybe I can sit with them and not have to suffer loneliness anymore. I didn't go that day, or couple of days after. It was difficult to find the courage I needed to go and sit at that table. But finally, the day came where I managed to walk up to the table and sit down.

The moment I sat down everybody there stopped speaking and looked at me. They looked at each other then they looked at me. I waved stupidly at them, I looked at the girl I knew sitting at the table and said "hi" to her. She just waved back, I could feel the awkwardness in the air and I knew no one wanted me there, but because of the Buizel I felt like I should be there. The time passed slowly and very painfully, no one spoke. Thankfully the bell rang and everyone got up and left to go to class. I tried to shrug off my embarrassment so I could get ready to try again tomorrow.

After a week or so they began to talk to me and I learned everyone's name. It felt good not to have to sit alone.

Time passed we, went to eighth grade and graduated middle school. In high school, freshman year I slowly gained friends, self-esteem, and a little weight. I had also grown a lot more than expected, so I became a taller than the average Quilava. And that year I met a girl. Well actually I met her I middle school, but we didn't really start talking until freshman year. We became best friends, but sadly nothing more than that I honestly thought we could have had something more but thanks to my last experience with girls I wimped out and did nothing. While we were friends I began to notice the Buizel again. His body had a nicer figure. I began to have thoughts about him. What it would be like to have him up close and stroke his soft fur. To press my lips against his and to have his tongue play with mine. These thoughts troubled me. As you know I didn't exactly like gay couples and now I'm having thoughts another male was really troubling.

Around this time I lost my best friend, she refused to talk to me or even look at me. Perhaps she was waiting for me to make a move and got impatient and mad. Or maybe I was hinting at the fact I might be gay. To this day I don't know why she left, I miss her and hope that someday we will be friends again.

The Buizel and I haven't spoken much since coming to the high school. But my feelings for him had been getting stronger. Over the course of time I did manage to become friends with him again, although we did not become best friends.

Then came sophomore year. We had a few classes together and in one of those classes I sat behind him. And during that class I daydreamed about him. I imagined him sitting on my lap with his back to me. I ran my paw down his side as I ran my tongue along his neck. If you haven't noticed, I'm kind of a pervert. He would moan and ask for more. My paw would rest on his crotch, but before my imagination got too wild I would remembered where I was. Sometimes my imagination gets too strong of a hold on me.

I desperately wanted to be with him. But I didn't think he would want be with me. He's told me that he's into this boy band and these guys are so much better looking than me. It hurts to hear him talk about them sometimes.

I was getting tired of having these thoughts about him, it wasn't right. I tried looking at girls, but he always caught my eye. I thought he was the cutest boy ever. I wanted to be with him but I haven't the nerve to ask him.

One day at home we were texting, my mother came in and looked over my shoulder to see what we where talking about. In the text he said, "can't wait to play this game" and with the text came a picture of him holding a game in front of his face. I thought he looked cute. But my mother blurted out, "Is he gay?" She stunned me with the sudden question, but I calmly said, "I dunno."

"Who is this kid," she asked, "he has so many pictures of guys on his wall." That's when I noticed the posters of the boy band on his wall. "Uh...we're just friends" I said trying not to make her think I was with him. "You shouldn't be around kids like that. I don't want you ending up to be gay like him." She said as she left room, "those kids can be a bad influence."

With that, I felt crushed. Not only has mum mother shown me that she will probably never accept me for who I am, but that she doesn't want me to be near the person I like. That night I began to think about what my mom said. Now I felt like I would never get to be with the Buizel I constantly think about. I felt my eyes get watery, I had a choking feeling in my throat. "I won't cry, I won't cry," I repeated this for a while.

I closed my eyes and imagined the Buizel lying next to me. I he came close to me and I embraced him in a tight hug, but when I opened my eyes, I was just hugging myself.

I bit my lip to keep myself from crying. I looked at the ceiling and tried to control my breathing. I was able keep from crying for the moment. I continued to look at the ceiling hoping to fall asleep. I buried my face in my pillow and began crying softly.


End file.
